He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
