So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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