I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize