Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
