If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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