I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
