No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
