We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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