he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
