i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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