you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize