I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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