I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
