is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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