I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
