bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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