Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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