Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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