This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
