did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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