Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
