It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize