I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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