I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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