Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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