i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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