garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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