why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
