'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
