I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
