I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
