between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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