I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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