You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
