handjob tips. give me some.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize