Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
