Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize