Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
