Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
