It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
