I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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