Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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