Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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