You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
