we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
