Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did we literally take a cab across the street
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just high enough for therapy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
