honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just made my gag reflex go away.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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