Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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