we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
