Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
