Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
