I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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