She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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