you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
