I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
