She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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