Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize