how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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