Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize