She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Come share oat with me in your robe
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize