God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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