At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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