just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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