Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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